It’s just a number, that can bring on a lot of feels

No, I’m not talking about age, though more on that later.*

I’m talking about weight.


Yeah, definitely not everyone’s favorite topic. I don’t know too many people that actually like talking about their weight.

It seems to be top of mind right now. I felt all the feels yesterday when seeing Jen’s post about her clients (and herself) dealing with that little number displayed on the scale:

[T H U R S D A Y T H O U G H T S] You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number the body fat percentage measuring device. When my clients cringe at the numbers, sometimes I just want to shake them and say ‘STOP STRESSING OVER THE NUMBER ON THE SCALE!’ I want so badly for them to realize the numbers mean jack shit compared to all the amazing non-scale victories they’ve achieved. But then I remember those times when I freaked out over the number on the scale and how I let it dictate my mood, how much I exercised and what I put into my body. I remember how LONG it took me to get the point of body acceptance. The point when I stopped giving a shit about the number on the scale and started focusing on how my body was feeling. I remember that even though I’ve come a long way, I still have moments when I have a mini freak out over the number on the scale, those rare instances when I step on the scale. I also remember how much I needed to surround myself with messages about body acceptance and appreciation. How much quicker I progressed in my thinking when I followed women that didn’t give a single fuck about the scale or society’s body standards. How cool it was to see other women secure and confident and unapologetically owning their body. I want to be that same kind of woman. . . . . #bodylove #bopowarrior ##realtalk #bodypositivity . . #beyoutiful #consistency #bgbcommunity #indyblogger #communityovercompetition #inspireconnectgrow #createcultivate #liveauthentic #thatsdarling #darlingmovement #flashesofdelight #livethelittlethings #nothingisordinary #thehappynow #seeksimplicity #indianapolis #unicornmagic #bopo #crossfitgirls #blogger #beyoutiful #iamwellandgood #burpees4bfast

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I saw this post after my annual physical appointment yesterday. Normally I look away when being weighed, allowing the nurse to just write down the number. After years of struggling with body image, which of course is never really a battle that ends, I’ve acknowledged it’s better for me to not monitor that little number. It’s so easy to get obsessive with it, to weigh yourself every now and then, then it’s once a week at the gym, then it becomes every morning (before any food or drink, of course).

I remember reading once that Cindy Crawford (or maybe it was Claudia Schiffer) never weighs herself. That was such a boggling idea to me, that a supermodel and an international icon of beauty never weighed herself. She explained that she instead taps into how she feels, how her clothes fit. Since reading that, and having a mini-epiphany with it, I’ve tried to own this tactic as well.

Generally it works well. I try to eat healthy most of the time, workout regularly, and drink plenty of water. Shifting my focus away from the scale and onto how I feel and the activities I’m doing has been incredibly freeing and empowering.

It’s not a full-proof cure. I once saw an experiment a woman did for a magazine. She wore the same bikini every day in a photo, and wrote a description of how she felt. Only on a couple of days did she feel confident and fit. Most days she wrote about being bloated, PMS’ing, or wanting to go back to the gym after seeing the image. In reality, there was little to no difference between all of the photos throughout the month, something she herself realized when she saw all 30 photos together. Isn’t it crazy what our brain can tell us??

The number can do a doozy on us. Yesterday, the PA checking me in for my appointment asked me to read the number to him for documentation. So I had to look.

Not getting attached to that number is so challenging. I feel pretty fit right now, am generally in a pretty confident place in my life, but it’s been a few months of disrupted routine and travel and fun events (read: delicious food and drink galore). I’m not immune to it. And the fact is that I would rather live a balanced and happy life than stay so rigidly dedicated to a specific number that I can’t enjoy a slide of pizza in Italy or foamy latte after a run. Or wine. Pad thai. That delicious chocolatey dessert…

It’s pretty impossible to stay one weight, one size, one BMI throughout all of what life has to offer. Food, travel, special occasions, injuries, illnesses, kids. Even though I own my choices, it’s still a struggle. And I know I’m not the only one.

Sports Illustrated swimsuit model Samantha Hoopes votes for balance with wine and food: Side note imma say it first I look out of shape and little chubby but that’s what I call living it took a lot of good food and wine to get like this hahah now it’s time to focus and get back into shape which is relative to everyone my advise just be comfortable in your own skin while being healthy and never passing up on good food or drinks you can always hit some cardio and get back to your own personal healthy shape and weight

Actress Busy Phillips reminisces over her pre-pregnancy belly skin: Also. I’m mostly posting this because I miss my pre pregnancy stomach skin but ‍♀️ I GOT 2 GREAT KIDS SO WHAT THAT MY STOMACH WILL NEVER BE THE SAME?!(Marc just said my butt looks better now so I guess you win some you lose some?

Stars, they’re just like us.

All joking aside, we all have our triggers, our insecurities. We’re all seeking balance between self-love and self-improvement, between YOLO and discipline.

“Body positivity is for all: every sex, gender, race, nationality, age, religion, ability.”

Kathryn Budig

How are you working towards body acceptance and appreciation?

* The other number that we can get attached to: age. Normally I’m ok with my age. I don’t feel all that different than in college or my early 20’s, but when I think back I realize how far I’ve come since those times. I wouldn’t choose to go back. But that’s not always the case for everyone apparently. The other night Nicci and I were in an Uber coming back from a bachelorette party. So we were dressed up (by Portland standards at least), had had a fun night, and were feeling good. Our Uber driver basically gave us an “oh…” upon finding out we were 29, as opposed to his youthful 25. 29 is not that old, dude! Ugh.

2 comments Add yours
  1. Girl, you are fabulous! I do the same, don’t weigh myself. I know when I look good and when I don’t. I try not to kick myself too much when life is so busy that I don’t get my routine in (think two graduations, six weeks of family visits and Blogfest just between May and now!) Your beauty shines with the person you are inside and out! No worries!

    PS I’ll show you how to love the age you are as you get to be my age, but by then I’ll be really old

  2. We actually own a scale now because B is trying to gain weight and I’ve definitely stepped on it to do a little check and then am reminded why I didn’t have one before. There’s no use in getting attached to the number on the screen. It’s like being attached to a number of likes and comments. It can only lead to a deep hole of obsessive thinking. No matter what, if you’re doing you and enjoying yourself, then so be it!

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